Have you met my wife?

She's one of a kind!

Down get down on yourself...at least you didnt invent these things:

Well, neither did anyone else...but they are funny to think about.

20. Non stick Cellotape
19. Solar Powered Flash Light (torch)
18. A black highlighter pen
17. Glow in the dark sunglasses
16. Inflatable Anchor
15. Smooth Sandpaper
14. Waterproof sponge
13. Waterproof Teabags
12. AC adapter for Solar powered calculators
11. Fireproof Matches
10. Fireproof Cigarettes
9. Battery powered Battery Charger
8. Seatbelts for Motorbikes
7. Hand powered Chainsaw
6. Inflatable Dartboard
5. Silent Alarm Clock
4. A Pedal powered wheelchair
3. Braille Drivers Manual
2. Double sided playing cards
1. Ejector seats for Helicopters

I Love my dog Guinness.

This is my boy! He can be a handfull sometimes. He breaks things that I love, poops on the floor, obsesivly licks everything he sees, farts non-stop, pees on the clean carpet, eats more food than the Persian Army, walks inbetween my legs, trips everyone, shreds stuffed animals, and snores when he sleeps. But none of that will keep me from loving him. In fact, thats what makes Guinness, Guinness.

You want to travel the world?

Well, a friend of mine (Sam Powers) has decided to do it for a year, and plans on documenting it all. When I heard about it I was super exited, and honestly expected nothing less of him. Check out the site and follow along...

http://www.twoguysaroundtheworld.com

It has been brought to my Attention that...

It seems that there has been alot of buzz about by previous post concerning the Large Hedron Collider, and the aftermath that will ensue. With that said, I have since activated my recon team to do some research and infiltrate the LHC Facility and give us the scoop. But before I reveal the image, you may want to have a seat, because what you are about to see is very disturbing!

You owe it to your family, and friends to protect their well being....the life forms that will invade this planet do not attack their own. Follow this link to save the ones you love!http://store.valvesoftware.com/productshowcase/productshowcase_HL2HeadCrabHat!.html

Bungie Studios had to cancel the video game they were making for me!!!!!

Bungie Studios sent me an email today reading:

Mark,

We are sorry to inform you on such notice, but the production on "Mr. Magooter, Hide and Seek," has been cancelled due to the fact that you just got your glasses. It's a shame that the project has been halted, but this captain 'aint goin' down with the ship. Once again we are sorry that you can see again, and thanks for waisting our time.



Have a nice life blindy,

Alex Seropian
Pres. and CEO of Bungie Studios



P.S: Attached are the cover art, and a screenshot of the game.

Was anyone else let down?

Maybe this is the dork side of me showing, but I have been following updates about the Large Hadron Collider (http://lhc.web.cern.ch/lhc/) for some time now, and love the fact that people are freaking out about it! Some say it is going to open some black hole or destroy the earth. Honestly people!?!?!? Lets take a step back in time to see what is really going to happen when this bad mamma jamma starts collidin' stuff. Because as we all know history tends to repeat itself.

The year is 1998 and Dr. Gordon Freeman, a recent graduate of Theoretical Physics, has just accepted a position testing teleportation technology with the Black Mesa Research Facility. When tests went awry he inadvertently caused a time-space catastrophe called a "resonance cascade," opening a portal between Earth and a bizarre world called Xen. With the two worlds linked the life forms are free to move about...

I could go on and on about what is "truly" going to happen, but you will never believe me if you do not take a look for yourself. Here are some pictures that may change your mind:

Everyone, meet Fred the Head. Fred the Head, everyone.

(You'll have to excuse him, he is a bit shy.)

...but seriously, he's a great guy, listens very well, and surprisingly not much of a talker. Who'da thunk it? But his only downfall is that he is kinda of a hypochondriac...thus all the indotracheal tubes and all...seem like he is always having me do some sort of exam on him. You know, now that I think of it, he is totally taking advantage of me. What a Jerk!

HI....

I don't know why I felt the need to start a blog...just wanted to I guess. No pictures or anything as of now, mainly because I don't know where my camera is. But rest assured there will be many to come.